spicypancake

I wish I still felt the way I used to not a specific feeling in particular, but a feeling with feeling for the sake of feeling I'm older and boring and I'm not sure why is it a need for predictability? is it lack of romance? I used to be so romantic Am I still romantic? Do I act like I'm not so people don't think I'm crazy? Is it because I'm married now and he's not that romantic? Sometimes I wish I could feel it again Feel fucking anything again Love and fire It's too warm, it feels good but it's actually an oven He is warm, but he is a scarf Sometimes that feels like enough and sometimes I feel too cold Am I not good enough to be in love with? He loves me, sure But is he in love with me? Am I too much in some way Or am I not enough I stare at the back of his head as I pretend that sure, I have something else to do too I feel like he doesn't see me It doesn't help that his eyes are transfixed on literally anything other than me

If everything was silent for just one second stop making me have to choose anything at all I would curl up in a tight ball all warm and gooey in the sun's rays If I could choose, I would always choose you but I feel like you wouldn't do the same I'm trying not to fill your space but I can't help it when you're not there If I could be better, I would be better I would be stronger and smarter and beautiful I would make you feel like you're alone I'm sure that's what you'd want If time overlapped in the existential byway would it stop everything So I didn't feel like I was wasting time